My Personality Style

For work, I got to take a personality assessment to evaluate what type of worker I am and what traits I have. The point is to use it to see how different personality types can work together, understand each other and get results for the good of the company.

I know there’s many different assessments out there, but the one we used have four personality types – dominance, influence, steadiness and conscientiousness, standing for DISC. I tested as a C, with S a close second. This meant that I am analytical, reserved, precise, private and systematic. Secondly, even-tempered, accommodating, patient, humble and tactful. The opposite of the other two types that were dominant, outgoing, lively, direct, forceful, firm and strongwilled.

It’s really not surprising, but then the report went on and things got eerie. It went on to describe my work style and what I do well with and what aggravates me. It said that I want a sense of security, want clearly defined expectations, work in a calm manner, avoid high pressure situations, am diplomatic, dislike conflict, but can get bogged down in the minor details and specifics. Accuracy is most important to me, which makes sense as an editor. That’s pretty much my job to be accurate and consistent, detail oriented. My stressors were listed as making decisions without time for analysis, dealing with chaos, being unprepared and taking risks.

Then one statement the report made hit me hard. It said: “You have a strong need for harmony in your relationships, so you tend to be considerate of others’ needs. You’re unlikely to display anger or impatience, so people are comfortable asking you for help. In fact, you’re often willing to put your own needs aside to give the support that’s needed.”

Dead on. All of it.

Who knew answering 20 or so questions would tell me exactly what I’m like. Even in ways that I kind of knew, but didn’t really acknowledge till it hit me in the face.

The thing that struck me was how similar all of those statements were when it came to my wedding. I made SO MANY lists, I overanalyzed every single minor detail, I triple checked everything, I made sure all details were outlined and planned for. And when things did get stressful and chaotic, I couldn’t handle it. Hence my meltdown in the apartment over ice cream. But I tried so hard to never show any of it. I wanted to appear calm and collected through it all. I wanted to handle every detail and not ask for help so I wouldn’t bother anyone else.

But, just like this report said, I need those other personality styles in my life to give me balance and help me out. I couldn’t have made it in the end without my husband, friends or family. I do tend to surround myself with people who are far more outgoing than I am. Probably because I like balance. Also, I’m a Libra. I live on trying to be balanced and fair.

Put two shy people in a room alone and neither will say much. I need to lean on those different than myself to bring out those less dominant traits in myself. That’s one thing I love most about my husband. He says without hesitation the things that I’m thinking, but am too nervous or shy to say aloud for fear of judgment. And I like that. I wish I were more like that. I can be passive-aggressive, because it’s easier than being direct and to the point, which I think made me a bad manager at my old job. But in the new enlightened and aware me, I should try more to push myself to say what I’m thinking, because it’s OK to give my opinion and share what I’m feeling. And if someone doesn’t like it, oh well. That’s the part I struggle with. I want to be liked. But I know that if someone doesn’t like me for some silly reason, then it’s their loss. It’s something I have to remind myself. To “Lean In” more. Speaking of, have any of you read “Lean In?” If not, do it. Best book for women in the workplace, or anywhere.

I’m not saying I need to change my personality, because I know we’re all unique and should embrace it. But I do think it’s healthy to be aware of your traits and sometimes push yourself to go outside of your comfort zone to challenge yourself, because it’s a great way to grow as a human being.

That’s part of what this blog is for me. A public space to air my thoughts and feelings. Don’t like it? Stop reading! I’ve found the strength finally to take that attitude here, so let’s see if I can do it in other aspects of my life too. Phew!

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Finding My Style

My Catfeats shirt that I absolutely adore.

My Catfeats shirt that I absolutely adore.

You know how when you buy a new piece of clothing you become a little bit obsessed with it? You wear it the very next day after you buy it, and as much as you want to wear it every day after, you also don’t want people to think that’s all you own or that you’re a weirdo. I’ve had a few things I bought recently that I am still pretty obsessed with. Now, here’s the disclaimer: I am not a fashionista by any means. Fashion has never come easily to me. I wear what I like and what is comfy (usually), but I do have a little bit of a desire to look nicer sometimes. A few friends of mine are super cute and trendy, and I envy how easy it comes to them. When I want to look like that, I have to try hard.

One of the things I wanted to do as a married woman was try harder when it comes to style and fashion. It just didn’t seem wifely to wear my Hello Kitty and Spongebob T-shirts anymore. I had been hanging on to some clothes that I’ve owned literally since junior high. I rarely, if ever, wear them anymore, but sometimes I can have hoarder tendencies and keep things out of sentimental value. But then one day maybe a month or two ago, I just decided to overhaul my closet and dressers and get rid of the things I have that are stained, don’t fit anymore, or that I just simply don’t wear for whatever reason.

My most recent fave find at Target.

My most recent fave find at Target.

It felt soo good. I donated about three bags worth of clothing, which felt good in itself, but I also felt proud that I tackled it. I felt more confident about the items left that I like more and wear often, and treated myself to some shopping for a few replacement items like new tank tops and shirts that seem to better fit my style and my life right now.

On that shopping trip when I was browsing at JCPenney, I started out in the juniors section because, well, that’s where I shopped for about 10 years or more and was simply pure habit. I was specifically looking for some basic black and white solid tees that I could pair with cute jewelry and scarves. I wasn’t having much luck, so I just kept wandering around till I found things that I liked and needed. After awhile, I finally looked up and realized I had circled the store and was in the middle of what I used to think of as the “old lady” section. But, know what? I loved that clothing and picked up a few items there without even realizing it.

That was the moment I realized I had grown up (fashion wise, anyway). I was no longer the teenager trying to fit in by shopping at Wet Seal. I don’t like anything that store sells anymore, but 16-year-old me loved it. I had graduated from junior’s to women’s and was completely happy with it.

These days, nearly all my clothing is from Express or Target, and I recently discovered a love for New York & Company. Wet Seal is completely behind me, and my old fashion is now sitting in the thrift store, and that makes me really happy.

Kitty face flats

Kitty face flats

One thing that I don’t think I’ll ever give up is what my friend calls “cat couture.” Yes, I am a crazy cat lady, and I love to show it. I have cat calendars, photos and knicknacks all over my desk at work and at home. I love my cat clothing too. Well, to be fair, all animals, because I also got the cutest flamingo print shirt at a local boutique. But my kitty face flats and flowy cat print shirt I just can’t get enough of. By the way, Catfeats is the greatest website ever for cat enthusiasts. I love everything they have. I’m like a kid in a candy store on that site. I also love the Animal Rescue Site because they have great gift ideas, and every time you purchase, you help animals!

Well, I got a bit sidetracked there, but the point is that in my new life as a wife, I’ve embraced my style, whatever it is right now. I don’t hang on to old items that no longer represent me, and I try to dress nicer because when we look good, we feel good. And that is good.