My cat Little Girl is pretty much the weirdest cat I’ve ever known. She’s a goof. She’s kind of dumb. She’s ditzy. She’s strange. She’s a hot mess. She’s incredibly annoying. But she’s lovable.
I can’t count how many times we joke about this cat. Almost every day. Compared to my other pets, she was really cheap. My other cat Captain was somewhere between $100 and $200 when I adopted him, and our dog Brick was the same. Little Girl was $30. She was cheaper than a tank of gas. I sometimes call her the “clearance kitty.” Don’t worry, her feelings don’t get hurt. Nothing fazes her. Seriously. It’s one of the things that makes me love her.
I think she has the motto that any attention is good attention. My husband and I tend to amuse ourselves via her. For instance, he likes to hold her up and sing in his Little Girl voice “My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard.” (Yes, each of our pets has their own voice and we talk like them ALL the time. Her voice is kind of like the Long Island Medium lady because we gave her a shrill Jersey accent, but with a lisp). He also holds her face in a way that makes her look like an alien and is hilarious. I like to make her dance. I hold up her arms and make her do the “Thriller” moves. She’s got it down. I put her in silly costumes, and she even has a party dress that I put on her when we have company over. Yes, we mess with her so much because it’s so easy. She doesn’t wiggle out of anything, doesn’t complain, and when we’re done, she acts like nothing happened and snuggles back down with us. It’s so bizarre.
She gets bursts of energy after she eats and literally runs around the whole house, often barfing because it was too much activity too soon after eating. But she never learns.
She usually has this drunk and/or confused look on her face. But she is SO CUTE when she’s napping. She has this happy, snuggly type smile that makes me happy. And she LOVES my husband. Her favorite spot to sleep is curled up on his chest, right up on his neck. It’s so cute.
But most of the time when she is awake, she is so annoying. We’re constantly yelling at her because she’s always into something. Years ago, we stored the pet food in the cabinet under the sink. Years ago. We’ve sinced moved it into the storage closet because she found a way to open the cabinet and would have a feast. But she still hasn’t figured that out because she still tries to get in the cabinet and look, so we constantly hear the banging of that door.
Then at night, she’s rustling around everything in the bedroom. She hops from dresser to dresser, to the bed, to the laundry hamper, to her cat tower by the window and back and forth. On the dresser, she knocks off everything, so we hear the thud of my deodorant as it hits the floor. I had to relocate my jewlery, because when I had my necklaces on a tree/stand thingy, she would jingle them all night. Then, the closer morning comes, she sits right by our faces and meows. And meows. And meows. And paces, walking all over the bed … and our faces. And we can’t just close the door because then she howls on the other side of it and scratches up the carpet.
Just yesterday, my husband was loading the freezer up with the massive amounts of meat I bought on a super sale at the grocery store. Little Girl was sitting on top of the fridge watching (she intently watches everything we do when we’re cooking too from her perch up there). He closed the door for a moment, and she scooted up to the edge and had her front paws on the top of the freezer door. My husband then realized he forgot something and opened the door again, causing the cat to slip and do this super ungraceful but so funny recovery and scuttle to the back. She definitely did not get the gracefulness that many cats have. Again, she’s a hot mess.
We also usually get her the lion cut shave in the summer because her hair gets so clumpy. But she looks ridiculous without hair. I’ve only ever seen fat cats shaved, and they’re kind of adorable. But she just looks strange. She’s actually a really small cat, and most of her is hair, so when it comes off, there’s not much left. My husband says that she looks like an ’80s aerobic workout squirrel (because we keep her leg hair, so it looks like she’s wearing legwarmers, and without the hair she resembles a squirrel more than a cat). I think she looks like an awkward bobblehead the way her fluffy head looks against her hairless body. It’s kind of pathetic, but also endearing.
Even when she’s not shaved, that’s kind of how she always is. Incredibly annoying about half the time, but the rest when she’s being a goof, letting us make her dance and snuggling, I adore her. She makes our lives interesting, that’s for sure.